Tuesday, 22 April 2014

I am Back !!

Well I am laid up for a few weeks (torn left calf muscle) so I will revisit with my movie reviews and write what I think about the movies I have been watching recently, so I have a lot of time on my hands and the reviews will be coming thick and fast so sit back and enjoy and please send me your feedback I would love to know if you agree or disagree with what I am writing.

Ta for now,


Thursday, 13 December 2012


A revenge movie from the genre nothing unusual about this.

Kurt and Eric Sloane travel to Bangkok to find new challenges for Eric's world kickboxing championship as he has defeated every challenger that has faced him and decides to search out new opponents in the country where Kickboxing was invented (at this point I would like to point out in Bangkok the main martial art is Muay Thai), Whilst there Eric challenges Tong Po, a ruthless man, and that countries Champion to fight, Kurt see's Tong Po's power when he is kicking a cement pillar and tries to talk Eric out of it but he refuses, the fight goes ahead Eric is beaten badly and not just happy with victory Tong Po cripples Eric, a man called Winston who was watching the fights helps Kurt take Eric to hospital after the people who organize the fights shows no compassion, the person who organised it is a man called Freddy Lee and is also Tong Po's manager.

Kurt is outraged and wants revenge for his brother, Winston who is initially unwilling to help tells of a man who may be will to train him as Kurt's own task of finding places to train is ridiculed by local gym's, he takes him to Xian an eccentric man who is apparently an expert teacher but has long since retired, after listening to Kurt's story he tells him to go and get food so he can make his decision on a full stomach, in the local village he meets Mylee, Xian's niece, who gives him food to take he also beats up 2 of the local toughs who are henchmen for Freddy Lee's protection racket she sends him angrily back to her uncle and it seems Xian will train him.

So we get a lot of training and showing gradual improvement (gotta have a montage), Eric is also released from hospital although now confined to a wheelchair, After a drunk bar brawl instigated by Xian he persuades Freddy Lee to put Kurt in a proper fight which he easily wins and gets his wish of Tong Po.

Now there is plenty of film still to review but i will let you, humble reader make your opinions, why do I like this film I hear ask, well I wonder myself, the acting is terrible its really wooden, the scenario has been played out a million times in the past and it is awfully cliched so I cant tell you why, I just do, the positive that it has got going for it is JCVD, Dennis Alexio and Michel Qissi who are all bonafide martial artists and that makes for good fight scenes.

Monday, 3 December 2012

The Martins

A Lee Evans comedy has to be hit, right ?

Rob Martin lives with his "Chav" family, he is a out of work competition addicted dole scrounger, son Rob Jr a underachieving 11 year old, his 14 year old pregnant daughter, his wife Kat who holds the family together and an across the road mother in law.

Rob is depressed with life seeing what others have and feeling a failure for his family however he gets a glimmer of happiness when he is told he is in the running for a all expenses paid holiday to the Isle of Man, however when he is told he hasn't won it he flips and goes to the newspaper who ran the competition with a gun he is "keeping" for a gangster friend he gets him to tell him who won the holiday and steals the holiday, the wife of the gangster who he is keeping the gun for wants it as he has been waving it all over town drawing a lot of unnecessary attention from the police, he rounds up his family and lies to them he has won the competition, on the way to the holiday destination it is revealed he has had a affair with the gangsters wife from his mother in law and his wife wants to the end the marriage after the holiday.

Nope it was awful, not good at all Lee Evans needs to stop too what he is good at and that's stand up.

Saturday, 24 November 2012

The Dark Knight Rises

The final film in Christopher Nolan's Batman trilogy.

CIA agents are escorting a nuclear scientist and three hooded prisoners, when the CIA learn that the 3 prisoners worked for notorious villain Bane they try and interrogate them, but one of them turns out to be Bane and that they want the scientist, during a daring mid-air rescue they manage to acquire him, we then go to Gotham they are celebrating Harvey Dent day and Commissioner Gordon has a speech about the real Harvey Dent but decides Gotham is not ready to hear it, A celebration is also being held at Wayne Manor Miranda Tate wants to meet Bruce Wayne to invest in her Clean energy but he refuses as he is now a recluse and has been for 8 years, during the celebration Alfred sends some Dinner up for Bruce with one of the helps at the party, however she is in disguise and is a well known Cat Burglar known as Selina Kyle, she manages to steal some Pearls and even though is confronted by Bruce still manages to get away.

A body is found by Police man John Blake it is that of a teenager that lives at the orphanage when he make inquires he is told that a lot of people have been working in the sewers as there is a lot of money to be made, Selina Kyle arranges a meeting with Daggett a rival of Bruce Wayne's to sell him some fingerprints she took whilst robbing Bruce, it is also revealed that Daggett has hired Bane, Daggett tries to have Kyle killed but manages to escape as the police have been tracking the meeting, they chase some of Bane's men to a man hole and Jim Gordon gets wounded, Bane steals the speech that he was going to say earlier but he manages to escape and is found by Blake.

Bruce wearing a ski-mask goes to see Gordon and Gordon says its time for the Batman to comeback, despite Bruce being a physical mess agrees he also makes his first appearance in public at ball and bumps into Selina Kyle and takes back his pearls, she however tells him she wants the rich to become to become poor and everyone to become equal, she responds to the pearls be taken back by stealing Bruce's car.

Bruce does some investigating into Bane and finds they where both trained by Bruce's mentor and was also a member of the league of shadows (see batman begins) it is also rumoured that  he escaped from one of the most notorious prisons of the planet, Bane and his men launch an attack on the stock exchange and they manage to get away with what they wanted and are pursued by police but when Batman turns up the deputy Commissioner orders the pursuit of Bane to end and for them to go after Batman he escapes with his new Lucius Fox designed bat-mobile that also flies, he also gets some of data Bane stole from the stock exchange.

Right I am ending it here, It was difficult for me to find to place to end my review today because as the film goes on more information is revealed, hopefully this is the right position as I don't want to spoil it, the film is enjoyable but feels a little packed in but what this film does and the trilogy as a whole is take away the silliness that we where left with after Batman and Robin, another thing that got me is why besides the Joker in the first one and Bane in this one why is Selina Kyle never referred to as Catwoman or Harvey Dent as Two-Face?, Also why end this film the way they did ?, it had the feeling that another film is coming, but they killed that with the announcement earlier this year that the Batman franchise is going to be re-booted again, I mean why another re-boot?, only reason I can think off this is because the announcement of the Justice League movie.

I had the choice of many posters today so chose this one to please the missus who thinks Tom Hardy is yum.

Friday, 23 November 2012

Dragon Eyes

A Van Damme film not watched one of them in ages.

A man called Hong turns up in the Village of St.Jude it is a village being torn apart by a pair of rival drug gangs, Hong goes and asks for a room at a nearby apartment block when he goes back to his car he greeted by 3 thugs they try and attack him but he beats them up, he turns his attention the rival gangs and goes into conflict with them, the rival gangs do not like that a man is hurting there businesses and the local sergeant doesn't like it either as he isn't getting his cut from either gang anymore, they both try and kill him but he manages to defeat them both, he goes to see both gangs and they agree to a truce also it is laid down that the drug dealing is done on the outskirts of the town and that no dealing happens to children.

Through out the film we get flashbacks from his time in jail with what becomes his mentor Tiano.

Mr.V a corrupt police chief takes interest in what Hong is doing and is impressed with his skills, he allows him to run St. Judes if he does him favours such as getting rid of dealers cutting into the business, he does this but does not kill anyone, back in St. Judes people are starting to take pride in there town keeping it clean and painting over vandalism.

Money goes missing from Mr.V he suspects different people including his own police but ultimately blames Hong, he has Hong captured and beaten and when goes to see him Hong has escaped and no one knows how, Mr V then lets another more powerful and more violent gang takeover in St. Judes, it is then revealed during Hongs recovery why he has gone to the town, to fulfill a promise made to his mentor.

Right only a small review with this one as that's all it needed, I have to say with Van Damme's name being the lead in this his role was only minimal this isn't a bad thing but for goodness sake don't give him top billing, Cung Le as hong was good but for my money he should stop in MMA and not concentrate on acting as that's  his strong suit, but then as the most as the martial artist besides Van Damme are MMA based we got some good action, it was also good to see some of Le's MMA buddies in cameo's such as Dan Henderson, also Van Damme's son has a small role in this so before you hit IMDB to see who it is watch and try and have a guess.

Thursday, 22 November 2012


A not very well known but good British comedy horror film.

Vince has recently been divorced and is depressed, his friends decide to take him on a boys weekend, this is welcome for all of them as they are all having women troubles, they hire a minibus to Moodly driven by a lady named Candy, they are going there as the women allegedly outnumber the men 4 to 1, and its also handy as Mikey's grandma lives there and has gone on holiday, another friend Banksy misses the bus and decides to make his own way down.

On there way into the village the bus stops sharply as there is some dead sheep in the road, Candy and Vince move the sheep, then Mikey's phone goes off and Neil decides to take everyone's mobile phone away from them deciding there weekend will be trouble free, they arrive at the town and it is surprisingly quiet, they go to the pub whilst Mikey goes to his Grans to get the key, whilst getting the key he notices some things that worry him like a bloody hand-mark on his way back to the pub he notices in a garden a woman dressed in bridal lingerie eating a dead animal she see's him and he runs, the rest decide to head back to the minibus when they see a soldier beating a young girl they rush to the girls aid and fight with the soldier in the mayhem the girl picks up a knife and stabs Neil through the hand, Mikey comes back and knocks the girl out with a garden gnome, they pull back her hoodie to see her grotesque face, they take the soldier and back to the bus to find Candy is also infected by whatever is growing around, they then head to Mikey's grandmas chased by many women, when they get back to the house the soldier informs them that there is a virus there and it only infects women and turns them into a kind of man eating zombie cannibal.

They leave the house to try and get back on the bus but this fails and they scatter hiding in various shops around the village apart from Patrick who is wounded by an axe and gets refuge on top of a advertising billboard and Neil who runs into a house where there is a fat woman she takes him hostage and cuts off and eats some of his fingers, whilst in the toy shop Vince and another guy manage to get a radio to the others and make a plan to try and get to the army van, Mikey tries this and fails and is set on by the other women they all leave the shops to help him and regroup and the local church, Neil manages escape and joins them, in the church they spy a computer and a image appears it is the local MP and it is explained that a infected washing powder was used on purpose to infect the women, the soldier finds a ultra sonic box and explains this will stop the women in their tracks, it fails and the soldier explains about PHASE 2 of the infection that this makes the women faster and deadlier, this starts happening to some of them women.

So some exciting things to come in the finale, if you have the time watch this unusual little gem, its weird but damn its good.

Dead Man Running

This caught my eye for the eclectic cast and when reading the synopsis it took my interest.

The current recession is also affecting the criminal underworld, and when a well known gangster and money lender comes to London he decides to make an example out of one his late payers.

Nick is a reformed villain trying to make a honest living for himself by setting up a travel agency, he employ's his best friend Bing who it appears is a thoroughly rubbish salesman, Nick also has a disabled mum who he looks after, he took a £100'000 loan out to look after his mum when he got sent to jail, he is visited by gangster Mr. Thigo and told he must repay the loan in 24 hours and to make sure he does he sends one of his men to Nick's mum armed with a shotgun.

Nick visits a friend who owes him money and to get the lowdown on the gangster, he gives him £3000 and tells him Thigo has locked down the criminal underworld making it impossible for him to borrow money from his criminal friends, he also tells his girlfriend who works a BDSM dominatrix and she agrees to help if she can, he then goes to visit his old promoter who managed him whilst he was bare fist fighter he organizes a fight for Nick which he wins and now has £9000, Bing then tells him about how he has a connection at Harlow dog track, they met him and for £300 he agrees to sabotage a dog so the long shot will win, it does and this makes them more money and when leaving Nick casually puts money on another dog, they then go to another one of Bing's connection to buy cocaine at cost and then double their money, they then by accident happen on a illegal rave and try to sell the drugs but when the guys try the goods it turn out that the cocaine is low quality as it has been heavily mixed with another substance, he tells them he desperately needs £100'000 and the drug guys say the know someone who needs a favour, this favour involves the shooting of a man, Bing at this point decides its getting to deep for him and leaves and asks Nick to call him after the job has been done, around the same time the man guarding Nicks mum falls asleep it is revealed at this point his mum is not really disabled and takes his shotguns.

Nick is told about his target and goes to shoot him this is revealed however to be a test which he passes and they take him to the real target, Nick takes the man out the house telling the driver he will not shoot him in a house where there is kids, they take him into the countryside and Nick appears to shoot him.

I really enjoyed this film and thought the acting besides the cameo appearances of 50 cent where decent, Brenda Blethyn played the mum so well, Danny Dyer and Tamar Hassan play their regular east-end wide boy role but they do it so well, I also liked how when we get deeper into the film the comedic element starts to go as the crimes get more serious, I also dislike the reviews I have read of this film saying its a Guy Ritchie knock off but I think if he had directed it they would be saying it was brilliant.