Brave

A Saturday morning treat for me and my boys, thank you to the good people of PACT and parkway cinema.

A Disney pixar that doesn't disappoint, It tells the story of a Scottish Princess who comes of age, her family want her to marry a son of a fellow Scottish clan, she however wants to make her own path in life, this difference of opinion brings her into conflict with her mother, the princess rides out of the castle and into the woods when he she comes across "sprites" (apparently a creature which can lead you to your destiny), this takes her to a witches cottage where the witches promises with the help of a magic pie (I don't know either) will change her mothers mind.

She then goes home pretends to makes peace with her mother and she eats pie, she then turns into a bear (of course she does !).

The rest is pure Disney uniqueness and silliness but is very well done, also have to mention the addition of her triplet brothers is excellent and nearly steals the show.

The voice talents of this feature is a basically a rent-a-Scot affair, but for me this gives it a authentic feel as then you haven't got a load of actors pretending to do accents.

My opinion of this movie is to go and see it, take your kids because this is truly a film the whole family will enjoy.

The Arena

A Sam L Jackson movie you would expect it to be good right ?, Well you would be wrong in that assumption.

A guy gets Kidnapped and forced to fight in the .com environment off illegal fighting where men fight to the death for entertainment of an online community where bets can be placed, Sam Jackson is the ring master in all this and controls who will fight next, he takes a shine to our hero and makes a deal with him that if he can kill 10 men he earns his freedom, the woman who found him and kidnapped him starts taking a shine to him and gets extra privileges for him such as more nourishing meals, medical attention and hot and cold running women, he also makes enemies as given the type of film this shit was inevitable.

I don't really need to tell you the rest of the story because you can probably guess it.

Thank god Sam Jackson has signed up to do Nick Fury for a few films because if this is what he is signing up  for at the moment his career will go down the shitter and fast and that is sad because I am a big fan.

Attack the Block

An urban Alien takeover in south London, thought Aliens would have better taste to be honest.

This film I think is going to be a bit of a marmite, you or either going to love it or hate it, Me i thought it was marvelously tongue in check hilarious !.

The film is about a gang of no-good kids, who basically spend their days terrorizing the residents of their estate or "block", after a mugging of a young nurse a meteor falls from the sky which they go to investigate, where they find a new mysterious creature and promptly kill it, they then take it to a drug dealer friend (Nick Frost) because he knows about science things.

Cutting a long story whilst at the drug dealers more bigger terrifying creatures drop from the sky where they decide to investigate and find out oh shit we may get our arse kicked.

Along the way the young nurse gets involved and the boys who were no good find redemption.

All in all a entertaining film, but really didn't need Nick Frost who I can only think they did this to have a name in the film.

Rubber

Jeez how am I gonna write this film up as it has "no reason" and is utterly bizarre.

So this film is about a Car tire with telekinetic abilities, thats right you heard it a car tire, there is a group of people that have paid to watch this car tires adventures, which involves mainly blowing people heads up, think of the film scanners but with a tire, I know I cant believe I said that either !.

I am really having a hard time writing this up as it is utterly surreal, if you have 80 minutes watch it, but be prepared to say what the fuck a whole lot of times, I get the message behind the film but it is so hard to explain.

Once again this film has no reason !!.

Dead Snow

Nazi Zombies ? Sounds cool.

Guess What ? it is cool, it is also a German language film but does have English subs.

The film about a group of friends who decide during a college break to go on a skiing holiday in a remote shack in the Austrian mountains, they make themselves comfortable, then on the 1st night there is a random hiker that knocks on the door to tell them about the mountains and that they are spooky and there is a legend about a rogue German infantry unit that ruled the local area with a Iron rod and generally where all round arse's that ran off there when the war ended, this bit reminded me of a foul mouthed Scooby Doo cartoon telling the kids the legend.

I don't want to go into much more of the story of this film as this movie is one the best zombie films I have seen since Shaun of the Dead, the acting from all the main protagonists is good, they follow the rules of a horror film to a perfect tee, I never got bored during it, it entertained me and kept my interest all way through, the Nazi zombies where good and some of the zombie kills where wonderfully inspired.

The best scene of the movie is when 2 of the male characters go full army of the dead Bruce Campbell on the zombies.

If I am being really nit picky the only thing that bothered me was the easiness of a zombie kill because if you have seen a zombie movie you know the only why to kill one is a impact to the skull and some kills were just a shotgun blast to the chest or other non skull splatting measures, but as I say that is really being fussy !.

If you can get past it not being in English then i fully recommend it if not trot on but please bare this in mind you will miss a awesome film.

Dads Army

A film based on Classic sitcom, ok cool !.

OK well this is a pretty shitty film and in my opinion it is nothing but a 90 minute long version of the TV show, this is not a bad thing till you notice that the stories has been taken directly from the TV show, which in itself is poor writing, it surely cant be that hard to come up with new idea's.

You really don't need to watch this film if you have seen the series, we start with the formation of the Mainwaring's home guard (as seen in the series), and the disastrous training (as seen in the series), to manufacture of crappy new weapons of war (as seen in the series), to the end scene of taking down some Nazi's (as seen in the series), you get the general idea, it also has the feel of being cobbled together as well, which makes continuity awful.

I don't really want to write to much about this as my attention wavered so much whilst watching it.

All in all its an abomination, if you really want to enjoy Dad's Army then watch the series.

Kickboxer 2 - The Road Back

I quite enjoyed the first kickboxer film and am quite a fan of Sasha Mitchell so I thought I would give a go.

Riiiiggghhhhtttttt, first of all lets put together the very tenuous link that create this sequel, we get introduced to David Sloan a brother of Kurt and Eric Sloan who gets no mention what so ever in the first film even when  in the first film Kurt and Eric discuss when their parents separated how each parent each took a child to raise wouldn't this be a perfect time to mention David ?, so because of that I am already dubious of the film.

So anyways David runs a Kickboxing gym for disadvantaged kids and with the debts mounting is being tempted in fighting again but initially refuses, as he has lost the desire to fight since the murders of Kurt and Eric (they where explained in the film to be killed by the 1st films antagonist Tong Po) he also has a running conflict with a student who wants to fight, eventually the threat of the gym's closure forces him to fight the Kickboxing champion when he does fight he defeats him easily and officially retires, this attracts the attention of the Tong Po (see above) and sends thugs to burn down his gym and kill one of his kids in process.

Whilst recovering Xian turns up (The trainer from the 1st film), however he seems less hard ass than he does in the first film and offers to train David although initially reluctant they end up training.

Meanwhile The student who with David had a conflict with is fighting for the now vacant title when guess who shows up to be his new mystery opponent, he kicks the living snot out him to lure David into a fight.

One of the first thing that gets me with this film how much revenge to does Tong Po want ?, he already killed the people that humiliated him will he not be happy till he kills his David's next door neighbours dog because it has a link to the Sloan's.

Sasha Mitchell does well in my opinion and has obvious excellent martial arts abilities but has a script that takes itself way to serious, but to be honest it shouldn't be Kickboxer 2 it should be something else and not a sequel, it would have been really easy to change the characters names.

Also the film does seem to be a serious version of No Retreat No Surrender, which actually isn't surprising since Van Damne starred in that film and wrote this...................... just sayin is all !.